I'll Take A Shower Later

• I'm too tired.
• It'll just make me sleepy.
• Maybe it would be better if I took it before bed.
• I don't smell bad.
• I'm too cold.
• Not right now.
• Maybe after I eat something.
• I'll do it later.
• It'll just wake me up.
• I can do it tomorrow.
• Maybe it would be better if I took it first thing in the morning.

These are some of the thoughts that can convince me to procrastinate showering or bathing.

The peculiar part is that I actually like to shower and bathe: being immersed in the warm water, the deafening white noise of the water pouring, the room filling with steam, getting the dead cells off of my skin, relaxing all of my muscles in the weightlessness, the yummy smells of the soaps, the silky feel of my wet hair. I love the idea of washing off all the bad gunk, emotions, energy, and situations. A shower or bath is a fresh start.

Then why all the procrastination?

Maybe it's a bit of rebelliousness leftover from my childhood. At the whim of an adult, I had to stop whatever I was doing; put my toys away, and go take a bath. I realized pretty early on that many bubble baths left me with hives. I sometimes had a toy or two in the tub. I liked little people and boats. I would play with the washcloth if that was all that I had. Most of the time I was being hurried though, someone else needed the room. To this day, I cannot stand the smell of that particular soap, ugh.

Maybe it's the after time. I do not like being cold. Wet is the quickest way to feel cold. I used to get those hives that look like mosquito bites but now I only sometimes have prickly heat looking hives. The first 45 minutes to an hour after the shower my skin crawls and itches. If I'm sick or stressed out, I cannot resist and scratch and scratch and scratch.

Still, maybe I need a shower. Nah, not right now, maybe after dinner.

Experimenter - The Movie

"You could say we are puppets. But I believe that we are puppets with perception, with awareness. Sometimes we can see the strings. And perhaps our awareness is the first step in our liberation."— Stanley Milgram

It's an entertaining and interesting movie starring Peter Sarsgaard and Winona Ryder about the "obedience" research of Dr. Stanley Milgrim in the 1960s. I personally, didn't remember Milgrim or the controversy surrounding his research. I was familiar with the results of several of his research projects. The film itself is a kind of project: the main character breaks the fourth wall, some scenes are portrayed with the backgrounds projected behind the actors, and much of the emotion of the film seems to be left up to my interpretation. There are important human behavioral questions brought up. Two that particularly interest me are: why will we hurt others just because we are told to; and are we justified to hurt others in order to learn. There are at least two sightings of actual "elephants in the room." I am not sure if the elephants represent that Milgram was justifying what the subjects endured in the name of his own research or that our society still doesn't act any different than the Germans did carrying out Hitler's atrocities.

Everyone would like to believe that "I would not have shocked the stranger." How we can learn as individuals or as a whole how to get there? How can we get to a point where we no longer do what we're told just because we we're told?  How can we be sure that we will act within our conscience?