Saturday, January 9, 2010

My Nursing History

My circle is widely varied. I know women who didn't nurse at all. They didn't even try. They had no desire to try. I know women who nursed their children till they were 6 years old. I know women who nursed their children for some amount in-between.

When I was pregnant I really didn't give much thought to nursing except that since it was best for the child I would give it a shot. I only really knew one women who had nursed, or at least nursed around me. Beth Wright in Louisiana in the early 1980s. I had baby-sat her two sons who were about 2 and 3 years old at the time, Brandon and Matthew. She not only nursed her toddlers, she also had a family bed. Both ideas seemed reasonable to me but seemed to shock some of our mutual friends.

So, I gave birth and started to nurse. I had trouble. I knew there was something wrong because there just weren't enough dirty diapers. He was dehydrated. I attended La Leche League Meetings. The women there were very kind and helpful. I learned how to nurse more successfully for me. Strangely (or not so strangely) I ended up nursing the way felt most comfortable to me instead of what all the books said. I nursed on one side for each sitting. The next time we nursed we would nurse on the other side. Just that simple and baby thrived.

At the La Leche League Meetings I learned about child led weaning. Child led weaning begins when your child is interested in food. It is completed when your child no longer asks to nurse.

Even though I just started out giving it a try, after 3 years I was still nursing my first child. He had been nursing just once a day, just to fall asleep at night when I ended nursing. One day my breasts were really tender. I explained to my child how they hurt to touch them and how I didn't think I could nurse hime to sleep. He only asked the one night and never asked again.

My second child was another story. At her birth, I had some trouble. Again La Leche League members gave me good advice from their own experiences. We had thrush and once that was cleared up we were a happy nursing team.

She nursed more frequently than my son but she thrived. At four years old, for my own sanity, I had to persuade my daughter to give up night-time nursing. She did not reduce the number of nursing sessions per day as my first child had. She only changed the timings of the sessions to all day time nursings. Instead of feeling like I was caring for my daughter and enjoying the one-to-one and that unique closeness I was still tired and feeling trapped. So I started asking other moms around at the park one day. One of friends said she had bribed one of her sons out of nursing with a truck that he wanted. On the way home, I just asked my daughter if there was something that she would trade for nursing. She was quick to answer, she wanted a big prize from Target (a department store). I told her when she had stopped nursing after one week we would go to Target for a big prize. That was it, she was a little nervous later that first day but that night was fine. I took her to Target a week later. We went up and down every toy isle but she couldn't find anything that was right. Target didn't have any dresses (the employee said that they were out of season). I took her to Bealls (another department store) where she picked out two very fancy dresses and a pink scarf.

P.S. She didn't ask to nurse again until she was sick (once in February and then again in May) and was easily comforted by sitting on my lap.